We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
