Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I don't deserve a penis
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize