ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
