i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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