We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
