is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
