ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
