apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
worst night to have a conscience
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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