i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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