:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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