I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
