The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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