I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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