I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
