people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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