What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
