Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I checked into jail on foursquare

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(208): View more from Idaho

New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone

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(214): View more from Texas

I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.

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