omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
