Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
