Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
