yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize