I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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