I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
