HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
