did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
handjob tips. give me some.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
