We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
