The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
