No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
