she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
