he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
