I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize