WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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