I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
