she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
