The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
