this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
