she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
