Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
