i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
