he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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