Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Less talking, more tequila
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
