btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize