Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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