very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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