is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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