you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
soo... how was my night?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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