I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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