Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's blow job season.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
