Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
