I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
