I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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