Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
this will be a night to untag.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
