I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
