It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
