It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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