He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
