"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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