can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
