Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
