Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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