I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
