they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
