Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just cut my nipple shaving
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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