He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
