I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
