Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
