Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize