: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
