I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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