I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
