I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
