Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
