never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize