i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
