My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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