She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
only you would photoshop your dick
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We were destined to go to rehab together
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
